


hung over the moon

by dearlyuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Airports, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Unrequited Love, it's mostly 00line squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 21:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15981005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyuta/pseuds/dearlyuta
Summary: Renjun finds his home in the crowded terminals and the sound of that beautiful pink-haired boy's laughter.





	hung over the moon

**Author's Note:**

> not proofread so please excuse any mistakes! i hope you guys enjoy it. ❤

_Seoul — September 17, 2018, 9:33 A.M._  
_Chicago — September 16, 2018, 7:33 P.M._

Renjun is late.

The thing is, Renjun has never been late in anything before. Not even once.

He has always made sure that he's on time in anything — ranging from annoying three A.M. hang-outs with Jeno and Donghyuck at a nearby McDonald's, sharing greasy fast food whilst cramming on school work with pounding headaches creeping in to rushing through the crowded terminals to slip in his flight to another country in search for a long-time dream. He despises waiting for other people and the thought of making other people wait for him is a line of disrespect that he never wants to cross.

But here he is, staring up at the board and seeing the flights flash before his eyes. His gaze runs over to the plane that he's supposed to be in right now, watching as the plane roars to life, the engines starting up as it slowly ascends to the skyline to dip through a stretch of endless clouds, constellations, and nothingness. His throat runs dry as his fingers twitch uncomfortably at his sides, eyes flickering from the board to the people rushing through him to get to the next flights.

He can already feel the precious scholarship that he worked so hard for slipping past his fingertips too easily, already drifting past the oceans.

Three minutes.

Renjun closes his eyes, the sound of the fast steps and screaming people around him blurring together into an intangible mess, creating a cacophonous sound. His eyes flutter open, gaze directed to the empty spot that his plane was simply occupying a moment ago.

Three minutes late.

He feels pathetic — he can't even find the reason why he's late to his flight. Out of all the days, fate really decided that today is a good chance to ruin his perfect streak of always being on time.

Out of all the days.

Renjun pinches the bridge of his nose, heaving a deep sigh as he makes a careful attempt to sift through his memories, head still foggy as he drags his suitcase away from the large window. The sunlight slipping through doesn't leave him feeling warm — he finds himself trying to tug on his dark blue sweater, blond hair flying over his eyes.

He's certain that he isn't late because of the heavy traffic that they endured on their way from his house all the way to here. Renjun can still recall the way Jeno's brows knit themselves together, concentrating on the road but the annoyance is evident on his features. A visible frown makes its way on the edges of his lips, the only sign of frustration he allows the others to see as he punches the horn for the tenth time. The cars around him barely react, still moving slowly as always.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that the traffic would be this bad," Jeno speaks up, breaking the silence between them. It's only the two of them in car, Donghyuck chose to be left behind since he still has to catch up on some school work — Renjun made sure to wrap him up in a tight hug and wipe away his tears before they left for the drive to the airport.

"It's fine, it's still early." Renjun replies, head falling to rest against the window. His gaze steadies on the cars in another lane, barely able to see through the tinted windows of the vehicles and failing to make out the features belonging to unfamiliar people.

Jeno's frown goes deeper, a heavy sigh slipping past his lips as he eyes the traffic again. They don't talk about how Renjun is going away for the very first time to head to another university that is located too far from them — leaving a black hole in their little group, the spot can only be filled a few times every time Renjun comes home for the holidays. Renjun can sense it even when Jeno doesn't say anything though, the atmosphere between them is strangely heavy. The tension is thick enough to slice through with a knife.

"I won't forget to call you and Hyuck." For the first time since they left the house, Jeno's lips curl themselves into a gentle smile as he spares Renjun a glance, a hand reaching out to grab the other boy's hand in his. Their fingers naturally intertwine and it takes everything in Renjun to ignore the way his heart flutters at the gesture.

"I know."

"Hey, it'll be fine. At least you don't have to worry about me being a third wheel in your dates with Hyuck." The laugh that escapes Jeno's mouth is beautiful, soft and Renjun allows himself to shut his eyes tightly to bury the emotions that he spent years to burn completely.

"We'll still miss you though, Injun. No one can replace you." The words stay still in the air and Renjun offers him a sad smile, his hand slipping out of Jeno's hold as his fingers brush against his own seatbelt.

"I'll miss you too."

/

Renjun shakes his head, dismissing the thoughts away as he makes his way to a line, gripping his suitcase in a secure hold. He continues to carefully dig through every memory of this morning, sifting through them as he allows himself to relieve everything.

He's certain he wasn't late because of how Donghyuck made his way to his house early in the morning, cheeks flushed and teary eyes as he hurried all the way. He had already marked the last 'X' on his calendar, sending a wave of sadness to the three boys as the realization settles in that today is Renjun's last day. Jeno accompanied his boyfriend as they make their way up to Renjun's room, footsteps echoing in the strangely empty house.

Donghyuck slips inside the dark room, taking a seat on the edge of his bed as Jeno settles on leaning against the doorframe, gaze steady on both of them.

"Injunnie." Donghyuck carefully wakes him up, patting his side before his fingers very lightly slip through the dry blond strands belonging to the sleeping boy. Renjun groans, the side of his face pressed down on the pillow as his eyes fly open, squinting through the darkness to make out the two figures in the room.

"Hyuck," His voice comes out hoarse, exhausted as he turns to glance at Jeno standing by the doorway, "and Jeno. What are you guys doing here?"

The sunlight has only started to slip through the blinds, brightening up the room a little more and Renjun can make out the sadness and longing that are formed on his friends' expressions. His heart aches as the realization sinks in that he's leaving.

Today.

"Hey," Jeno speaks up first and steps inside the room, crossing the way from the door to his bed in large strides until he makes his way to sit beside Renjun. Donghyuck reaches out to grab Renjun's hand in his hold, gripping it before flashing a small smile at his direction. Renjun's heart aches even more now.

"We made you breakfast. Come on." Renjun closes his eyes for a brief moment, allowing himself to fall into a delusion that this is a normal day. That this isn't a day when he's leaving them for four years to finish university in another place.

This is just another day for them to spend together — just a normal day.

Renjun opens his eyes, mustering up a smile as he gazes at his two best friends. He gives Donghyuck's hand a gentle squeeze before smiling at Jeno brightly.

"Okay."

/

"Sir?"

"Huh?" Renjun snaps out of his trip down memory lane, wide eyes directed at the girl in front of him. She leans against the desk slightly, eyes rolling as she chews on her bubble gum, fingers mindlessly clicking around her computer to view the scheduled flights.

"Looks like you're in luck," She continues to scroll through the list, heaving a tired sigh, "I think I can squeeze you in for the next flight."

Renjun hesitates, fingers drumming against the desk before his gaze flies over to the board displaying the flights again. He stares back at her again, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"When's the next flight?"

"Three hours." She responds easily and Renjun hurriedly takes out his wallet, paying for it as the girl handed him the needed documents. He eagerly grabs them from her, rolling his suitcase away as he tugs uselessly on his sweater.

The memory slams down on him a moment later once he's in the middle of of the crowded terminal, eyes flickering over the different restaurants set out before him.

He's late because he didn't get enough sleep the night before, eyes filled with tears as he suffers through the loneliness that he will feel once he leaves to a foreign country. Another trip like this — he already suffered from this when he had to migrate from China to South Korea, the awkwardness present in him when he landed in this place. But he easily found his way to Jeno and Donghyuck's arms just a few days after — the two of them welcoming the boy eagerly.

Due to the pounding headache he suffered from the night before and how he woke up early to leave for the airport, he didn't even realize that he fell asleep while waiting for his flight. The metallic chair was cool and he promised himself that he'll just take a moment to rest.

"Idiot." He mumbles to himself, shoulders dropping. He can't believe that he allowed himself to do that — his body just can't wait before he makes his way to his flight.

He huffs loudly, footsteps echoing against the floor as he makes his way to the little café tucked in by the corner, right beside the entrance. He can see people piling up inside, eager to get out of the crowd and grab a bite.

 _At least my headache is gone now_ , the thought sends a wave of temporary relief, only to feel himself stiffen up as he steps inside, gazing over to the full tables. It's not terribly noisy as one would expect but seeing the amount of people seated on the chairs makes him want to rush out. He awkwardly stands by the entrance, clutching his suitcase tightly as he contemplates whether he should call up Jeno and Donghyuck.

But he doesn't want to bother them anymore — it was already hard to part away from a crying Donghyuck back home and Jeno's warm embrace before he slipped inside the airport. He heaves a deep sigh, gaze flickering to the menu as he impatiently waits for a table to open up for him to snatch.

"Hey," A soft voice comes from side and Renjun turns his head fast, almost hitting the boy right beside him. They both stumble a bit but the pink-haired boy has a tight grip around Renjun's smaller frame, keeping him upright.

"I, uh," Renjun's cheeks are flushed as he presses himself near the glass door, holding onto his suitcase as the boy lets out a tinkling laugh. Renjun can't deny that his heart just swooned at the beautiful sound of it, watching the boy's eyes crinkle as he flashes a wide smile at him.

"Thanks." Renjun finishes off his words lamely and the boy only smiles wider at his direction. He doesn't know that he can get so weak from someone's smile until he saw this boy.

"Hey, sorry for surprising you. I just wanted to invite you to my table," The pink-haired male looks over to a nearby table, a suitcase and another bag placed near the chairs, "isn't it uncomfortable to just stand here?"

"Yeah," Renjun elicits an embarrassed laugh, rubbing the nape of his neck as he gazes back at the table longingly, "yeah, it is."

"Do you want to share a table?" Renjun hesitates — he doesn't know this boy and for all he knows, he might be putting himself in danger but one look at the boy, he can sense the sincerity coming from him. He takes a deep breath to calm his beating heart beneath his ribs and he nods his head. The smile that the boy gives him can light up an entire room and Renjun can't help but smile in return.

"Come on." He gestures Renjun to follow him and the blond-haired boy hurriedly matches his steps, eagerly putting his suitcase aside as he takes a seat on the chair. The boy places himself on the chair in front of him and Renjun takes a moment to stare at the menu instead of him because he really doesn't want to embarrass himself further.

"They have great coffee here."

"Really?" The boy nods, his pink strands falling over his eyes as his fingers traces along one of the drinks set out on the menu. Renjun feels an odd urge to tangle their fingers together but thankfully, he has enough self-control.

"This is one of my favorite coffee shops. I'm surprised that this airport has it." Renjun lets his gaze run over the boy's face, admiring his features. He has a radiant kind of beauty, the kind that makes people stop and stare, too shocked to figure out if he's an angel. His hair and his smile seems to make him younger and more charming, if that's possible.

"How much coffee can you drink?"

"Mm," The boy hums, pursuing his lips in a thin line as he lets himself dive in, deep in his thoughts, "six cups? Four shots of espresso each."

He hesitates before speaking again, eyes flickering over to Renjun's curious gaze.

"I can drink that on an empty stomach."

"...Really?"

"Yes. I know it's not healthy." The boy juts out his lower lip in a pout and Renjun can feel the heat crawling to his cheeks, painting them a red tint. Renjun holds himself back in time before he reaches over to pinch the other's cheeks. He wonders why he feels an uncontrollable urge to... pamper him.

"Yeah, haven't you tried drinking something else?"

"Hm, they have peach juice here. I think I'll grab it."

"Okay." The atmosphere shifts into something awkward and Renjun clears his throat, tearing his gaze away from the menu.

"Where are you headed?"

"Where are you going after this?"

They ask at the same time, questions overlapping. They both burst into a fit of quiet laughter and Renjun can feel his heart flip at the very sound of the boy's laughter.

"Do you mean, where my flight is going to or...?"

"Yeah, where are you flying to?" Renjun hums, tapping his fingers on the table as his gaze flies over to the ceiling, not getting enough strength to meet the boy's lovely eyes.

"Well, I got accepted in SAIC so..." The boy's eyebrows knit together in confusion as he leans forward.

"Is that the School of the Art Institute of Chicago?"

"Yeah, that." A flicker of recognition flashes through the other boy's gaze, starry eyes boring into Renjun.

"Wow, you must be really talented." Renjun's cheeks color themselves into shade of red as he mumbles a soft _thank you_ directed to the boy sitting in front of him.

"What about you?" Renjun speaks up after a moment and the male arches a brow in response, "Where are you going?"

"Sorry, but I can't tell you." When Renjun stares at him blankly, the boy laughs, a smile painted across his lips. Renjun would never say it aloud (now) but he thinks that the pink-haired boy looks the best with his sweet smile tugging on the edges of his lips.

"It's top secret!"

"Is that so?" Renjun rides on the joke, face twisting into a mocking surprised expression. The other boy squints at him playfully, emitting a laugh afterwards.

"Please don't tell me you're some sort of a serial killer."

"Serial killers don't tell their victims that they're the next target." Renjun stiffens up and the boy has a lopsided grin playing on his lips. If the blond-haired boy didn't see his smile, he would have straight out walked out of the café. But still, he narrows his eyes at him, preparing to get up from his chair but he stops when he feels the other's warm fingers wrap themselves around his wrist. He has no idea why his heart is hammering crazily against his chest.

"I'm just kidding! I promise I won't hurt you."

"Really?" The suspicion drips from the edge of Renjun's voice and the boy nods eagerly, flashing another reassuring smile, hoping to sweep Renjun off his feet and charm him into staying.

(Renjun hates that it actually worked.)

"I'll stay," Renjun says, slowly making himself comfortable on the chair as he narrows his eyes once again at the other male, "if you tell me your name."

The pink-haired boy hesitates, lower lip in between his teeth before he drops his hands in surrender, nodding his head as a sign that he accepts the offer.

"My name is Na Jaemin and yours?"

"Renjun. Huang Renjun." The smile that the boy gives him is blindingly beautiful that his heart soars at the sight of it.

"Nice meeting you, Renjun."

-

 _Seoul — September 17, 2018, 12:27 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 16, 2018, 10:27 P.M._

In all honesty, Renjun has only found his home in the arms of his two best friends. Though he had an amazing family and nice friends back in China, he never truly felt like he's meant to stay there forever. Sure, he got homesick a few times once they migrated to South Korea but the smiles and laughter that the two boys, who willingly welcome him into their group, give to him feels enough.

It finally feels like he's at home.

So, it's understandable to feel upset. Torn apart. Disappointed. He doesn't want to lose his home but it's exactly what's happening right now to him.

Renjun realized that he can't stay forever in his home when he came rushing in to Jeno's house one day, cheeks flushed. His heartbeat should have gone to normal after a few deep breaths but instead, it suffered from a fast paced beat — heart slamming against his rib cage.

"Jeno?" His voice comes out shy, soft when he finds the other boy curled in his blankets. His glasses are perched over his nose, fingers grazing along the pages of his book report. He drops everything he's holding once he realizes that the older boy has made his way inside his room.

"Injunnie, hey! You should've had told me that you're coming over—"

"Jeno, I like you." Everything stops between them that day. it's the first time that Renjun has ever developed real feelings for somebody so it's taking a whole lot of courage to confess right now. Jeno stares at him with an unreadable look before it slowly morphs into a pitiful and sad expression.

"Injun," It's in his tone, his body language that Renjun finds his answer too easily. Despite the sudden ache in his chest, he laughs bitterly, gaze turning away from Jeno.

"S-Sorry." He stutters, clutching the letter he has in his hands, sticking it into his pocket instead as he meets Jeno's upsetting gaze. He's idiotic for thinking that the younger boy actually likes him back.

"I don't want to lose you as my friend, Junnie." Jeno's voice is painfully sweet and soft and Renjun, despite feeling the terrible ache creeping in even more, lets himself wallow through the sweetness and dive in a false sense of security.

"You and Hyuck are special to me." Jeno simply wraps him up in a tight hug that day as Renjun bites back the sobs that threaten to leave his lips. He musters up a smile, breaking away from the embrace, sensing the meaning behind his words immediately.

"You like somebody else," Renjun says it so casually that it catches Jeno off-guard, "Hyuck?"

Jeno never replied but still, Renjun knew what the exact answer was. Since a week later, Donghyuck had called him up, excited and almost near to tears as he swims through the endless sea of happiness. Jeno had asked him out and of course, Donghyuck said yes. Who wouldn't fall for Jeno, anyway?

He knows that he can always come back to the two boys since they're his home. But it'll never be the same after that.

/

Renjun heaves a deep sigh at his train of thoughts and that seems to catch Jaemin's attention. The blond-haired boy is surprised when he feels the other's fingers brush against his arm, their gazes meeting.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Renjun replies too quickly and he tries to curl the corners of his mouth into a smile, "I am."

Jaemin doesn't look convinced but he doesn't push through. He knows that he's not in the place to do that yet and Renjun is grateful for it. He doesn't know how to explain his feelings and his situation, anyway.

"So, you still haven't told me where you're going." Jaemin grins, his shoulder bumping against Renjun's lightly, pulling his suitcase along. Renjun can feel the hair on his arm stand up in surprise, the electricity shocking him.

"I'm headed to the same state as you are."

"Really?" The curiosity is embedded in Renjun's voice and Jaemin directs his gaze at him with a soft laugh.

"Yes, silly."

"When's your flight?" Both of their eyes fly over to the clock hanging nearby. Jaemin pursues his lips in thought, huffing softly.

"Just one more hour." Renjun feels his heart swell over the possibility that he's riding in the same plane as Jaemin. He doesn't know why but he's clearly excited now.

"What's your seat number?" Jaemin hums lowly, digging through his pocket to pull out his ticket and reads through it.

"18-B. And you?"

"18-A." Renjun's eyes are twinkling and they exchange a laugh, shoulders bumping again as they drag their suitcases behind them. It must be a crazy twist of fate — bumping into Jaemin and actually having him as a seatmate later on. Somehow, that thought is enough to bring a sense of calmness and familiarity over him.

"This is crazy, it's like fate is trying to get us together." Renjun blurts out unknowingly and he never wanted to take back his words so quickly before. His cheeks are flushed in embarrassment but Jaemin doesn't make fun of him at all — he only smiles at him widely and Renjun can say that he'll never get tired of seeing it for the rest of his life.

"I know. I must have done something incredible in my past life to meet such an adorable boy like you."

"Shut up, I'm not cute."

"Yes, you are. You can't change my mind!" Renjun only huffs loudly but he steps a little closer to Jaemin's side, their fingers brushing against each other's but never intertwining.

-

 _Seoul — September 17, 2018, 1:30 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 16, 2018, 11:30 P.M._

"You're so tiny." Renjun throws a glare at Jaemin, who's smiling at him as he helps Renjun to haul up his luggage on top, securing it before he guides the smaller boy to his seat. They settle in comfortably, arms brushing against each other and though they're supposed to be used to it already, Renjun can't get rid of the electrical sensation traveling through his veins every time Jaemin stays closer to him.

"God, this is going to be so exhausting and boring." Renjun comments and Jaemin throws him a look, eyebrow raised.

"Are you calling me boring?"

"Maybe." Renjun's voice is clearly dripping with playfulness, on the brink of teasing the other boy. Jaemin puts a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt from it.

"That's hurtful. Should I talk your ear off for the next," Jaemin hurriedly checks his watch before grinning at Renjun mischievously, "fourteen hours?"

"Oh god, what a nightmare."

"Hey, people would pay to be my seatmate."

"Uh huh, sure."

"But I'll reject them for you since you're so cute." Renjun rolls his eyes but his cheeks are burning. Jaemin seems to be the type to shamelessly flirt with someone then pretend that he never did such a thing when he gets accused.

"I'll pay them to keep you away from me." Jaemin stares at him then he abruptly stands up, legs stretching out. Renjun panics almost immediately, fingers wrapping around Jaemin's wrist.

"Don't go."

"Aw, that's so sweet," Jaemin coos as he sits down again, securing his seatbelt before flashing a smile at Renjun, "I'm all yours now, don't worry."

Renjun feels his fingers twitch on the armrest, taking in deep breaths to calm the erratic beating of his heart against his chest. He's sure that the pink-haired boy is simply fooling around, being playful but Renjun can't help the sudden burst of feelings in him. He really hates that he can't keep his emotions in check right now.

"I changed my mind, tsk." Renjun clicks his tongue but Jaemin never allows the smile to slip off his mouth as he leans in close, eyeing the window right beside Renjun. It suddenly becomes difficult to control the way his heartbeat is going crazy as of the moment due to the way Jaemin is stuck to his side.

"First time flying alone?" Jaemin speaks softly, eyes focused on the blond-haired boy beside him. Renjun barely has the strength to meet his gaze, cheeks burning as he lets his gaze settle on the window instead. The dark is slowly slipping in and the lights coming from the other planes look more like fallen shooting stars.

He nods in reply, turning his head and his breath gets caught when he finds himself staring back at Jaemin's eyes. They look bright and starry, twinkling and Renjun has never wanted to get lost in someone's soulful eyes before.

"Me too," Their fingers tangle lightly but they don't intertwine, just softly brushing against each other. There's something entirely comforting about Jaemin's presence and the brief thought of _I wouldn't mind being with him for a long time_ passes through Renjun's mind.

He never chases that thought away.

"Are you scared of heights?" Jaemin suddenly breaks the peaceful silence between them and Renjun furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. A sheepish smile makes its way on the pink-haired male's lips, gripping Renjun's fingers in his hold.

"I'm... scared of heights." He exhales after saying those words, expression morphing into an anxious-filled one as he leans his head against Renjun's shoulder. Renjun isn't entirely affectionate — he hates it actually but with the way Jaemin is stuck close with him, eyes shut as he tries to think about anything else but flying, he finds it rather endearing that Jaemin is seeking comfort from him.

The engines roar to life after the usual announcements coming from the stewardess standing in front. Renjun, sensing the way Jaemin is still frightened to even think about anything else, scoots closer, an arm winding around the pink-haired boy's frame. Jaemin welcomes the hug, burying his face on his shoulder and Renjun, despite the seriousness of the situation, wants to laugh.

It's just... out of the blue. The way Jaemin feels a little more like home the more they talk, the way he allows the other to cling to him like this. If Jeno or Donghyuck even try to do this to him just days after meeting them both, he'll jerk away almost immediately.

Jaemin is just a little more different from them.

"You know," Renjun starts off when the plane slowly ascends to the sky, gaze focused on the window as he watches the ground below grow smaller as each second passes by. Buildings and houses shrink as the clouds and fog start to surround the plane before it all clears up, leaving an awestruck Renjun staring at the endless sky. He clears his throat and his fingers softly sift through Jaemin's hair, feeling the strands brush against his skin.

"I used to think that airplanes are shooting stars." Jaemin takes a moment before tugging away from the embrace, eyes steady on him. Renjun catches his gaze and he lets a smile linger on the edges of his lips, choosing to continue his words.

"When I was a kid, I often stayed out late and sit on the front porch. I don't think there was a night when I didn't see a single airplane pass by." Jaemin finally musters up a smile, a low laugh leaving past his parted lips. Renjun finds the sound incredibly endearing and beautiful at the same time.

"So you always made a wish on airplanes?"

"Yeah." They stay silent, gazes focused on the window. Renjun's heart has calmed down now, a steady pace but still, he can feel it skip a beat every now and then due to Jaemin's presence.

"Do you think there's a kid down there that probably thinks that we're a shooting star too?" Renjun lets out a light-hearted laugh, eyes flickering down to look at the endless stretch of the clouds below them.

"Maybe there is." Their eyes meet again and Renjun finds himself getting breathless at the way Jaemin is staring at him with the sweetest smile painted on his mouth. If there's anything that Renjun wants to wish about, he wishes that Jaemin will never lose his breathtaking smile, no matter what.

-

 _Seoul — September 17 2018, 3:30 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 1:30 A.M._

The plane has fallen silent as the television lights up, displaying an old-time movie. Renjun can vaguely remember the title — it's something along the lines of _50 First Dates_. He's sure that he has watched this before with one of his friends but the events are already blurry in his mind.

"Have you ever liked someone like that?" Jaemin speaks up, fixing his earphones before glances at Renjun with a small smile. Renjun furrows his brows at him, gaze turning briefly to the screen before he leans in close to Jaemin's side.

"Like how?"

"Like," Jaemin pauses, fingers easily slipping through the empty spaces of Renjun's hand and it takes everything in the blond-haired boy to keep a neutral expression despite feeling like his chest is going to explode, "can you imagine liking someone who doesn't remember who you are the next day? It must be tough and that might mean that you truly love that person if you still make an effort like that."

It's the way Jaemin says the words, voice soft and low so it's only the two of them who can hear the conversation. Renjun's heart is flipping and he swears to God, he wants to hear that voice for the rest of his life. He can't believe that Jaemin is making him feel too many emotions right now that his thoughts have become irrational.

"I don't know," It's a safe answer, a balance between a definite _yes_ or _no._ But Jaemin isn't quite convinced by it, head tilting to the side to gaze at Renjun silently. Even a simple gesture like that can send Renjun's heart into a wreck, knees turning weak. He wonders briefly if there's anyone else in the world that feels the exact same things that he does when Jaemin looks at them like that.

"Do you," Renjun hesitates in the middle of the sentence. He doesn't know why he even decided to ask that question — he doesn't want to come off weird so he seals his lips all of a sudden, a refusal to continue the hanging end.

"Do I what?" Jaemin stares at him expectantly, an eyebrow arched. Renjun heaves a sigh, realizing that it's a little too late to back out now so why not make himself look like a fool already?

"Are you dating anyone right now?" The question catches Jaemin off-guard and Renjun chews on his lower lip unconsciously, cheeks bright red in embarrassment. God, he's really idiotic for even thinking of asking that kind of question—

"No," Jaemin says slowly, shaking his head firmly before flashing a reassuring smile at his direction, "no girlfriend or boyfriend."

Renjun didn't even notice that he let out a sigh of relief. He doesn't even know why he's elated to hear that — it's not like he's already interested in the other boy that he just met a few hours ago. But it's not entirely impossible that he won't have the ability to feel so many emotions because of one boy.

"Oh," Renjun resolves to say and though he makes an attempt to hold back his grin, he fails miserably. His cheeks are dusted with pink and Jaemin doesn't miss it, despite how the plane has already grown dark inside.

"How about you? Are you taken by anyone?"

Renjun takes a moment to answer, his stare burning holes on their intertwined hands. Jaemin notices it but doesn't make an effort to pull his hand away from Renjun's warm grip. Neither does Renjun.

"No." He answers slowly too, the word stretched out past his parted lips. Jaemin's eyes flicker briefly to their fingers before they gaze back to Renjun's expression, carefully gauging out his reaction.

"Is your heart taken though?" For the very first time since he admitted to himself that he has feelings for Jeno, he doesn't feel the urge to say _yes._ It's understandable — his feelings for Jeno have gradually faded as soon as he realized that he doesn't have a chance with the younger boy so he makes an effort to move on. There are moments when his heart will flutter, just for a second but it quickly dissipates into nothingness.

"I... don't know," He finishes off lamely. An unreadable emotion passes through Jaemin's eyes all too quickly, too fast that Renjun is not sure if it's real or if he's just imaging things as of the moment.

"Did you leave somebody behind?" Jaemin drops his voice into a whisper, thumb running across his knuckles in a soothing manner. Renjun can feel himself relax in his seat, head comfortably placed on the headrest as he lifts his gaze to the television in front.

"I left two people behind," He swallows thickly, afraid to glance at Jaemin and catch any sort of judgmental look from him, "they've been my home for so long. But I don't know, I don't think I have the right to call them that anymore."

"Why?" The silence is getting heavier in the cabin, their hushed voices are the only sounds that register in Renjun's head right now.

"I... just feel like I'm more of an intruder in their relationship. They're the ones who hung out first before I came into the group." There's a quiet shift of movement and before Renjun realizes it, he feels Jaemin's head resting back on his shoulder again, feeling all too comfortable. Renjun doesn't pull away — he even scoots closer as he grips his hand tightly.

"Did you like any of them before? Like in a romantic way?" Renjun shuts his eyes, taking a moment to rearrange his thoughts in a proper line before quietly speaking again, the uncertainty hanging off from the edge of his tone.

"I did. But it's fine now, I lost my feelings for him when I realized that I didn't have a chance. Besides, the two of them are much better together." Jaemin raises his head, gaze softening as he grabs Renjun, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. For the countless time for today, Renjun's heart skips a beat yet again.

"Your two friends got together?"

"Yeah." Surprisingly, the ache isn't painful anymore. Sure, there's that uncomfortableness residing in his chest upon bringing up a past crush but he knows that he can say that he's sincerely happy for Jeno and Donghyuck's relationship. Jaemin senses the shift in the atmosphere between them after the conversation and the subtle smile is obvious on his lips.

"Well, I'm not sure if the wound is still fresh for you but I hope you know that you'll find someone who will look at you as if you have the stars in your eyes." Despite the way his heart jumped at Jaemin's words, he ends up chuckling, his free hand over his mouth to cover up the sound.

"That sounds cliché and cheesy."

"But it's true," Jaemin hurriedly says, the corners of his eyes crinkling as they exchange a grin at each other, "I don't think you've seen yourself smile so widely and the way your eyes twinkle. You look amazing like that."

Even when Renjun rolls his eyes, his cheeks are burning like crazy due to the way he's feeling a burst of emotions buried within his bones. He doesn't know yet if he likes this overwhelming feeling he has right now.

"I wonder why I have to go out and stargaze before," Jaemin speaks up, turning his gaze to Renjun with a cheeky smile displayed on his lips, "when there's a boy right here who looks like he has an entire set of constellations trapped in his eyes."

"God, you're so annoying and cheesy." Renjun playfully hits his chest and the laugh that leaves Jaemin's lips is truly the sweetest melody he has ever heard in his life.

-

 _Seoul — September 17, 2018, 4:28 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 2:28 A.M_.

The humming coming from the engines underneath their feet is a constant, familiar sound already that Renjun has already grown accustomed to it. It's rather odd that he finds it comforting, almost as if everything about this feels like home to him.

Maybe because he has Jaemin by his side.

As soon as the name pops in his mind, he inclines his head, turning to look at the other boy. Jaemin has his head tucked comfortably against the crook of Renjun's neck, fingers intertwined with his. The pink strands of his hair fall over his eyes as his shoulders rise and drop in a steady pattern, signaling that he's deep in dreamland as of the moment.

Renjun is afraid to wake him up, especially when he looks awfully peaceful beside him so he resolves to stay still, thumb running along the boy's knuckles. It has fallen completely silent in the cabin, the occasional sniffling, pages being turned, and shuffling of feet are the only simple disturbances.

Renjun has always wondered what his life would be like once he steps in his new university — the expectations are kept low. He just wants to breeze through these four years without worrying too much about anything except for all things that are academic-related.

But he never expected to stumble into someone's path like this and witness the most beautiful smile on this boy's face. He's practically radiating every time his eyes crinkle as he smiles so, so widely at Renjun. The blond-haired boy wouldn't be surprised if there are girls and boys chasing after him at every corner that he steps on.

 _But he's here with you right now. He looks at you as if you light up the whole world,_ his thoughts echo in his head, bouncing off at every corner of his mind. His breath hitches, eyes falling shut as he tries to lull his thoughts into a senseless blur.

He steals another glance at him and his whole expression softens at the sight of the pink-haired boy sitting beside him, head placed on his shoulders and their fingers tightly intertwined.

Renjun wishes that they can stay like this for as long as time will allow them.

-

 _Seoul — September 17, 2018, 6:10 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 4:10 A.M_.

The sky has blended into a dull gray, the clouds hanging over them and Renjun allows himself to get lost in the endless stretch of the space. He hesitates for a moment before his fingers grab hold of the blinds, pulling it down to cover up any light that can stream inside the plane. His eyes fall shut every now and then, drifting in and out of sleep with the pad of his thumb still running across Jaemin's knuckles.

It seems like they're in a space where everything just sorts of blends in — Renjun can't find the start and end of this time. He can barely let himself figure out if it's already daytime or nighttime for them.

"Renjun?"

He turns his head and the realization slams down that Jaemin has already woken up, bleary eyes staring back at him and pink strands messily tousled on his head. He already misses the feeling of Jaemin pressed up against him but he doesn't tell him that.

"Hey, you finally woke up. My shoulder was already hurting." His voice is laced with playfulness, rolling his shoulder before leaning back on his seat. It's a half-lie, his shoulder really did hurt but the pain just registered now — he didn't really feel it a moment ago when the other boy was still sleeping. Besides, he feels a little empty and lonely without Jaemin's head placed comfortably on his shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep like that." It's the way Jaemin raises his gaze, eyes wide like a puppy's and Renjun would be straight-out lying if his heart didn't feel a certain kind of ache at the sight of it. He doesn't know how Jaemin can make him melt with a simple smile and or even a slight glance at his direction.

"It's fine, you looked cute." The words come out faster past his lips and it takes a moment or two before the sentence registers properly in his head. He can't even take back his words anymore, especially when a grin has already painted itself on the edges of the pink-haired male's mouth.

"Cute? I looked cute?"

"I didn't say such a thing."

"You did!" The excitement is clear and crisp in Jaemin's tone that he even bounces on his seat, cooing as he reaches over to pinch Renjun's cheek in such an affectionate manner. He only halted when he received glares at the people surrounding their area, probably because his voice is too loud at this time of the day.

"Maybe I did." Renjun resolves to say at the end, lower lip jutting out to resemble a pout as he rubs the assaulted spot on his cheek. He doesn't mind the way Jaemin pinched him though — it almost felt more like he's treating him like a little kid. He ignores the way his heart fluttered at the gesture.

"Ah, I can't compete with you though. You're always cute."

"Am not." Renjun shakes his head and Jaemin playfully cups his own cheeks, smiling brightly at his direction. It's almost like he's staring straight at the sun itself — his smile is so blindingly bright and beautiful.

"Yes, you are."

"Fine." Renjun surrenders all too easily, even holding up his hands. Jaemin arches an eyebrow, a lopsided grin making its way on his mouth again, just like before.

"You actually let me win an argument, I'm shocked."

"I'll let this one slide since you're adorable." There it is again — the compliment slipping past his parted lips once more and it doesn't take a second before his cheeks started painting themselves in a red tint. He's beyond embarrassed for letting those words escape his mouth so easily.

Jaemin doesn't reply though. He only tilts his head to the side and Renjun's heart skips a beat at the sight of his smile again.

(Stupid heart.)

-

 _Seoul — September 17, 2018, 10:41 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 8:41 A.M_.

"That's dumb," Renjun murmurs, the tiredness growing evident in the edges of his voice as he taps the back of Jaemin's hand with his finger. They're served with eggs and bacon for breakfast but Renjun isn't hungry at all. He pokes the egg with his fork and heaves another sigh, shaking his head as he pushes the plate away discreetly.

"It's not dumb."

"It is! How the hell is water not wet? It's water!" Jaemin gives him a deadpanned expression, emitting a sigh as he drops his fork on the plate.

"Are we really fighting over this?" Renjun stares at him, scrunching his nose before he finally backs off the argument, raising his hands in surrender. Jaemin flashes him a grin, eliciting a chuckle.

"Water isn't wet. But anyway, I win since you already gave up."

"Hey! That isn't fair."

"I didn't tell you to give up your side of the argument though." Jaemin shrugs nonchalantly, eyes crinkling as he finally pushes away his own plate, not bothering to finish up the food set out. He's not hungry as well, it's not even appetizing to look at it either.

"But still." Renjun pouts, bottom lip jutted out and in less than a second, Jaemin is already melting and cooing at him, squishing his cheeks. Renjun keeps up with the adorable act, mostly because he likes the way Jaemin's eyes twinkle so brightly as a smile curls upwards on his lips. He looks so much more ethereal like this.

"Fine, I'll let you win since you're cute." Renjun opens his mouth to retort but he gets cut off briefly as a stewardess passes by, collecting their plates before she walks away almost as quickly as she passed by.

"I wonder how many times you called me cute since the moment we met."

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe a thousand times already?" Jaemin wraps an arm around his waist and Renjun feels comfortable enough to rest close to him, letting the pink-haired boy rest his chin on top of his blond hair. They fall silent, letting the sound of the engines humming and yawns echoing in the cabin to lull them in a sense of home.

"Renjunnie?"

"Yeah?" Jaemin doesn't respond almost immediately, arm only tightening around his waist. Renjun doesn't open his mouth to complain since for some unknown reason, he feels pulled in towards Jaemin. There's certainly something about the other boy that he feels so at home with his presence lingering around him.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Isn't that a question you ask to little kids?" Renjun jokes and even when he doesn't turn his head, he knows the other is smiling at his words.

"You're a little kid though."

"Shut up, I'm not that small. I can grow taller than this."

"Sure, sweetie." Renjun jokingly tries to push him away but Jaemin latches himself on him, shaking his head quickly. Renjun tries to ignore for the umpteenth time by the way his heart races at the action.

"Come on, give me an answer." Jaemin's voice becomes muffled as he buries his face on Renjun's shoulder, finding comfort in their familiar position. It's rather wonderful and achingly beautiful about everything that's related to Jaemin — Renjun can't find it in himself to say no to such an angel like him.

"I've always wanted to be an artist. I've been drawing since I was young," Renjun's fingers sift through the pink strands, the lingering smell of strawberry coming from the boy beside him makes him smile so widely, "it makes me so happy every time I imagine and visualize different kind of things and scenarios. Before I know it, I'm already picking up my pencil and tracing every pattern I have written out in my head. The satisfaction I get after finishing an artwork that I poured my heart out on it is... exhilarating."

Jaemin doesn't respond and that seems to worry Renjun. He's getting too serious about his passion for art and though this kind of topic comes up a lot of times, Renjun doesn't know when or where to stop completely. The amount of times he saw the boredom streaked on other people's expressions is the reason why he likes to keep silent or give vague answers instead of going on such a long rant about it.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Huh?" He knits his eyebrows in confusion as Jaemin raises his head, hand reaching out to slip their fingers together in a tight grip.

"Why'd you stop talking? Go on, tell me about it." Renjun hesitates, eyes flickering back and forth from the other passengers before steadying his gaze on Jaemin.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

It's the way Jaemin responds eagerly, without any hesitation that Renjun is rendered speechless yet completely elated. This time, he doesn't deny that the reason why his heart is going crazy is because of Na Jaemin.

-

 _Seoul — September 17, 2018, 11:12 P.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 9:12 A.M_.

"Why are you heading to Chicago?" Renjun mumbles, subtly reaching out to grab Jaemin's hand, playing with his fingers with a soft smile gracing his mouth. Jaemin doesn't respond at first, eyes steady on Renjun's peaceful expression. He can't help but mirror the smile on his own mouth, chest bursting with so many emotions at once.

"I'm a speed skater," Jaemin lets their fingers tangle with each other's and Renjun doesn't make any move to pull away from him, "Just like you, I've been doing it since I was younger. I'll be practicing in my uncle and aunt's ice rink there."

"Is that what you wanted to do once you grow up?"

"Isn't that a question you ask to little kids?" Jaemin repeats the blond-haired boy's words, voice dripping with playfulness. Renjun rolls his eyes but he bites his tongue, not wanting to retort. Jaemin, upon sensing that Renjun is not going to tease him back, heaves a sigh and nods his head.

"Yes but my parents want me to be a doctor," Jaemin shrugs helplessly, a sad smile spreading on his lips, "It's fine though, I don't think I'm fit enough to do this for the rest of my life."

"Are you kidding me? You shouldn't give up on your dream, no matter what. I'm going to talk to your parents so they can realize their mistake of making you take up a career that you don't even like." Renjun shakes his head stubbornly, huffing loudly. He doesn't want Jaemin to just discard his dream like that — just from the way he mentioned that he was a speed skater, his eyes already lit up. He's passionate about it and Renjun doesn't want him to lose the stars in his eyes.

Jaemin keeps mum, eyes searching as he lets his gaze linger a little longer on Renjun. A smile curls on his mouth later on, eyes crinkling as he brings Renjun's hand up to lay a very soft kiss on his knuckles. His heart is going wild again, beating all to loudly against his rib cage once he spots the sincere smile on Jaemin's mouth when he pulls away.

"Thank you, Renjunnie."

-

 _Seoul — September 18, 2018, 12:25 A.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 10:25 A.M_.

"Do you believe in fate?"

"That kind of question is sort of reserved at night during our deep talks." Jaemin checks his wristwatch and shrugs his shoulder, flashing a grin at Renjun.

"It's technically past midnight at South Korea right now so this talk is still valid." Renjun runs a hand through his blond hair, pulling on his sweater, feeling oddly hot in the cabin. He reaches upward to adjust the knob, letting the gust of cold air hit his face in some sort of temporary relief.

He tries to find some more distractions but Jaemin is staring at him, expecting an answer so he rests back against his seat. His finger taps restlessly against the armrest, thoughts swirling around in his head.

"I don't know," Renjun shrugs after a moment on contemplation, humming softly, "I think at times that fate is real but there are times where you're in control of how you want your life to turn out, you know?"

Renjun leans in close, eyes flickering over to Jaemin to gauge his reaction. The pink-haired male tilts his head as confusion takes over his features.

"But... I think I started to believe in fate," Renjun continues to speak, voice still kept low as he glances down on Jaemin's hand. He very lightly grazes their fingers with each other before tangling their pinkies together, "the moment I met you."

"Wow, I didn't know that you can get cheesy like this, Junnie."

"Shut up." Renjun immediately says with no real bite in his tone. Jaemin elicits a laugh and lets his head rest against Renjun's.

"It's nice that you believe in fate now," Jaemin grips his hand in a tight hold, giving it a small squeeze, "especially since I think about you just the same."

Renjun has never known that he can smile so widely like this but Jaemin is truly different.

Renjun doesn't mind it at all.

-

 _Seoul — September 18, 2018, 1:32 A.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 11:32 A.M_.

"Hey, you haven't slept yet?" Renjun shakes his head, wincing as he feels the headache slowly creeping in as he adjusts his position. It's getting uncomfortable with the way he's been sitting here for the past hours already, making him both restless yet extremely exhausted.

"Not yet," The words draw out as a yawn, eyes falling shut as he hastily rubs his eyes with his hands, trying his best to chase the sleep away, "I took a short nape a while ago though. I'll be fine."

"No, get some more rest."

"I'll be fine."

"Don't be stubborn." Renjun raises his gaze, squinting at him. Jaemin stares back at him with unwavering gaze, forcing the smaller boy to drop everything and just surrender himself to a peaceful slumber.

Jaemin rounds an arm around his delicate frame and Renjun feels comfortable enough to rest his head against his shoulder. He grabs the pink-haired boy's other hand, their fingers naturally intertwining, as if it's out of habit already.

"Sleep. I'll be here once you wake up." Renjun manages to hum, a smile tugging on the edges of his mouth. He likes the sound of Jaemin's low voice and the feeling of their bodies snuggled like this. He would do anything just to stay like this for an eternity.

"Okay."

-

 _Seoul — September 18, 2018, 3:35 A.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 1:35 P.M_.

"Ah, sh—" Renjun's eyes slowly fly open, gaze slowly steadying on the seats in front of him. His head is throbbing but he knows that after a few more minutes, it'll get chased away so he resolves to let himself take in his surroundings.

"Junnie, are you awake?" Jaemin's hand feels soft against his cheek and Renjun blinks up at him, feeling himself get flushed in embarrassment as he sits up hurriedly. His blond strands stick out so he makes a horrible attempt to smooth them down, making Jaemin emit a low laugh beside him.

"You're so cute." Jaemin coos at him, pinching his cheek lightly while Renjun blinks continuously, absorbing the events taking around him. Just one glance at his own watch confirms the small fear residing in his chest.

They're finally here.

"Wow, I didn't even realize that was such a long flight." Jaemin yawns, rubbing his own cheek and Renjun feels a tug on his own heartstrings. Will he be idiotic if he asks if he can still meet up with Jaemin after this? Is he asking for too much?

Is this a one-time thing? Sit beside a stranger and be friends, feel your heart shake for fourteen hours because of the sound of their laugh and the sight of their beautiful smile, then pretend that it never happened?

"You okay?" Maybe it's the way Renjun is completely silent that it actually worries Jaemin to the core. He musters up a smile, hoping it looks reassuring and real as he glances at the pink-haired boy, nodding his head firmly.

The atmosphere between them shifts as Renjun keeps his gaze steady on the window. The plane is slowly descending, heading for the ground to land and for a second, a thought spins in his head.

Jaemin is afraid of heights, he thinks as he turns to look at the male sitting beside him. Jaemin is absentmindedly picking on his seatbelt, tugging on it uselessly but his fingers are shaking, the only indication of his fear.

"Jaemin." He whispers, wrapping a protective arm around his figure to pull him close. Even though he can't see him properly, he knows the other is appreciative of his actions by the way his hand tangles around the back of his sweater, giving it a light tug and squeeze.

Outside, Renjun can see the clouds and fog get replaced with outlines of buildings and small houses as they make their landing. There's something both awfully beautiful and saddening as more and more of the buildings, radio towers and runway pops into view — it's a reminder of the fact that Renjun is finally here to spend four years of university. But it's also a reminder of their inevitable ending, the same ending that he spent fourteen hours not wanting to think about it.

The wheels hit the ground with a bounce and soon, they're rolling down the runway, the momentum pinning them against their seats. The plane slowly halts as the ramp meets them, a stairway down to the ground after flying for so long.

Despite the fact that they're given the signal that it's all right to go, the collective sound of hums and shuffling feet behind them as the other passengers collect their baggage, Renjun stays rooted in his seat.

He doesn't want to let go of Jaemin at all.

"Hey," It's Jaemin's voice that brings him out of his train of thoughts and his heart starts aching as Jaemin smiles so, so brightly at him. Renjun wonders how he can smile so much even with the fact that they're separating now.

"Are you ready to go?" Renjun doesn't have a choice — he nods his head and finally removes Jaemin out of his embrace, unbuckling his seatbelt while Jaemin is already on his way to stand up and pick up their baggage.

 _What happens after this?_ Renjun wants to ask him badly and there's only one answer that can calm down the erratic beating of his heart. But he keeps silent, carrying his suitcase out of the plane, following Jaemin from behind.

"Junnie, hey." Jaemin stops midway on their way to the crowded terminal. Renjun stops as well, suitcase pressed against his side as he glances up at Jaemin with sad eyes.

They're stuck staring at each other and honestly, Renjun wants to freeze time. He doesn't know what will happen to them after this.

"You know what, fuck this." Jaemin says out loud, surprising the blond-haired boy as he steps forward, cupping Renjun's cheeks in his hands. Renjun couldn't comprehend the events properly — his mind is spinning and his heart is a wreck but the feeling of Jaemin's lips against his clears away everything.

Everything just falls into place when it comes to Jaemin.

They pull away, cheeks flushed but the smiles on their faces are so wide that anyone can see how happy they are together.

"Can I," Renjun speaks, voice shaking slightly as he grips Jaemin's shirt in his hands, "Can I see you again?"

It's the smile that Jaemin gives to him that Renjun feels like everything will collapse around him. He can forget about everything else when he's with Jaemin right now. He watches as the other boy hesitates before his eyes turn sad yet hopeful at the same time.

"It'll be... hard for the both of us. You'll be busy with university and I'll be busy practicing."

"I know," Renjun's voice is on the edge of burning into desperation and Jaemin stares at him with an unreadable look passing through his eyes, "I just really want to see you."

It was completely silent between them with Jaemin searching, eyes flickering from the terminal then back to Renjun. His arm round themselves around the smaller boy's figure, pulling him in a tight embrace.

"We'll see each other, I promise." With that, Jaemin has already pulled away, another sad smile tugging on the corners of his mouth as he rolls his suitcase away. He never looks back, not even once and all Renjun can do is to pretend that it doesn't hurt at all.

-

 _Seoul — September 18, 2018, 5:35 A.M._  
_Chicago — September 17, 2018, 3:35 P.M_.

Renjun throws himself on the newly made bed, heaving a deep sigh. He wants the exhaustion to slam down on him so he can drift off into a deep slumber but everything that's in his mind is Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin.

Funny how someone he met hours ago can make him feel like there's fireworks popping off in his chest.

He rises up from the bed, hair disheveled as he glances around the bare room. He really needs to start fixing things up — he's finally here in the university dorms. He can't afford to fuck things up over a boy that he just met.

He picks up his phone that's sitting on the nightstand, drawing up Donghyuck's contact. He's sure that Jeno is already hanging out with him early in this morning, especially since they're the type to have sleepovers every other night.

His heart feels like it's starting to shake, ready to skyrocket out of his chest while his phone rings. Just a few minutes later, the other line picks it up.

"Injun?" Donghyuck's weary voice answers and Renjun finds himself almost tearing up. He already misses his two friends — he can't believe that he's in another country away from them.

"Hey, Hyuck. I missed you." He replies, voice shaking but he's over the room. His chest is filled with so much happiness, just from hearing the excitement that immediately comes from the other line. Voices overlap and soon, Jeno answers.

"Injunnie! We miss you too. So, so much. Hyuck won't stop crying since you left."

"Shut up! You cried too!" Donghyuck whines from behind and Renjun can't help but laugh a little bit. All the sadness that was crushing him a while ago has already left, letting him breathe much easier now.

"Anyway, how was your flight?" Jeno ignores his boyfriend whining and starts speaking again. Renjun heaves a deep sigh, head spinning again at his thoughts about Jaemin.

"It was... nice," The smile is obvious in Renjun's voice and he grips the bedsheets, closing his eyes briefly, "I met someone really sweet."

"You already got yourself a boyfriend while you were away for a day?! Oh man, that's so cool." Donghyuck is practically shouting in excitement and Renjun pulls the phone away, smiling with his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"You have a boyfriend already?" Jeno questions, also excited and Renjun shakes his head despite the fact that he knows that the two can't see him.

"No, but he's amazing. He really is." Renjun's voice turns dreamy yet there's that tinge of obvious sadness lying underneath it. The other two quiet down, quick to pick it up. There's the sound of books quietly placed down and pages turned before Jeno starts speaking in a lower tone.

"What happened, Junnie?" Renjun shuts his eyes tightly with a muffled sigh. He doesn't want to talk about it but at the same time, he wants to pour out the frustration that's kept within the confines of his chest.

"We were getting along really well. I—Jen— I can't really tell you properly how much I felt at that moment with him. It was unlike any other," Renjun pursues his lips in a thin line, blond hair tousled as he runs his fingers through the strands, "I can't say that I'm in love but I like him. I want to take him out on a date and learn more about him."

It's silent over the other line and Renjun furrows his eyebrows, a little worried. Is he talking too much? Did they end the phone call already?

"Injun, you sound like you really do like him." Donghyuck says over the phone and Renjun feels the corners of his lips curling upwards to resemble a smile.

"I do." He confirms and it's silent again. There's a murmur of voices before Jeno answers again.

"You should chase after him, Junnie."

"That's... kind of hard to do." Renjun swallows thickly, hating the heaviness that's settling in his chest. The memory of their parting is burned at the back of his mind and it makes his chest squeeze in the most uncomfortable way possible. Renjun can detect the confusion from the hurried murmurs he heard from them, nevermind the fact that the words seem rather incoherent.

"He didn't leave me a number, an email address... nothing. He didn't leave me anything at all. All I know is that he's a speed skater." Renjun absentmindedly picks up the dust on the edge of his bed, carefully patting his sheets so the dust will fall off.

"What's his name?" Jeno whispers and Renjun smiles slightly, face lighting up for a quick moment as the name crosses his mind.

"Jaemin. Na Jaemin." Even saying his name is like singing the sweetest melody that ever existed. He feels a slam of tangled emotions — from happiness, frustration, and longing — on his chest and it makes him so, so dizzy from making an attempt to make sense of everything.

"Oh, Injunnie," Donghyuck's voice is nowhere near teasing or playful. He's obviously upset over the confusion that Renjun is feeling right now and it kind of bothers the three of them that they're not together to resolve the problem. Jeno has fallen silent, pencil scratching against the paper is the only sound that presumably comes from him.

"It's fine, there are a lot of guys out there. University just started so I don't need to get so hung up over one boy." It's the overflowing confidence in his voice that the other two boys finally backed down, letting Renjun put away the problem for now.

They're quick to say their goodbyes since Donghyuck and Jeno still have a long and busy day ahead of them and Renjun still needs to fix his room up before his classes start three days from now.

He'll be fine.

He'll get over Jaemin.

-

 _Seoul — October 23, 2018, 11:29 A.M._  
_Chicago — October 22, 2018, 9:29 P.M_.

"I'm dead. Don't talk to me." Renjun says as soon as he steps inside the dorm, dragging his bag along with him. His roommate, Chenle, throws him a bored and uninterested look before one of the edges of his mouth curves upwards to form a half-smirk.

"You look fine to me." Renjun huffs and throws the bag right beside to Chenle on the couch, taking satisfaction over the fact that he made the younger boy yelp in surprise and fear.

"I am," The blond-haired boy gestures to himself hastily, eyes narrowed at the other boy, "breathing but fucking dead."

"Language." Chenle replies simply but Renjun is too tired to care, plopping down on the other end of the couch, making himself comfortable. The white hoodie that Donghyuck had given to him on his birthday last year feels nice around him, giving him a sense of familiarity and home.

"You still haven't found him?" Chenle's voice is soft, putting down his music sheets as he hugs his knees up against his chest. It's rather both endearing and surprising to see this kind of side from the younger male — he's so used to Chenle being loud. Renjun steals a glance at him before forcing himself to stare at the television, shaking his head numbly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find him soon." Chenle reaches out to hold his hand in a comforting grip. Renjun's heart aches because of so many reasons but the main one is because he already misses the way Jaemin holds his hand gently.

So much for wanting to forget that pink-haired boy.

"I'm going to grab some snacks at the convenience store. You want anything?"

"Coffee please." Renjun stares at him and snickers, removing his hand from Chenle's hold to ruffle his hair playfully. The younger boy huffs, pulling away and slaps Renjun's hand, fixing the strands of his hair again.

"Don't drink too much coffee. You won't grow taller."

"I'm fine as long as I'm taller than you."

Renjun thinks that Chenle deserves it when he gets smacked on the arm by a book.

-

 _Seoul — October 23, 2018, 11:45 A.M._  
_Chicago — October 22, 2018, 9:45 P.M_.

Renjun knits his brows at the sight of Jeno's name popping out on his phone. He hits the answer button and balances his phone between his shoulder and ear as he brings a few bags of chips and two cans of coffee to the counter.

"Hey, Injunnie! We miss you!" Donghyuck answers excitedly over the line and Renjun almost drops the gadget on the floor due to the surprise. He flashes an embarrassed smile at the cashier as he digs into his pockets for some money.

"I missed you too, guys. Hold on." He gratefully accepts the plastic bag from the cashier, curling his mouth into a bright smile before leaving the store.

"Aren't you two supposed to be in class?"

"Pfft, it's fine. Skipping for a day can't hurt." Surprisingly, the words come straight from Jeno and Renjun holds himself back from laughing. He never imagined that someone like Jeno, who seems to have a perfect attendance and grades, would actually consider an idea like that.

"Did Hyuck bribe you to skip class? Is he being a bad influence on you just because I'm not around?"

"Hey, I'm a good influence on him!" Donghyuck answers before a yelp echoes in the background, followed by a rapid pressing of buttons. Gunshots are heard as well and Renjun rolls his eyes.

"Are you playing video games right now?"

"...No." Jeno's voice is dripping with guilt and Renjun snickers, taking a step onto the pavement.

"I know you're lying."

"Us? Lying? It must be your imagination, Junnie." Renjun bites back an insult from leaving his lips, ready to turn around to head back home when his eyes catch on a nearby ice skating place.

 _Jaemin is there,_ the thought suddenly comes from out of nowhere, slamming down on him and Renjun almost stumbles in shock. He doesn't know why he feels a certain pull towards the place — his feet are already hitting the gravel as he slowly makes his way to the area.

"Injun? Are you still there?" Jeno's tone is filled with worry and concern and Renjun temporarily snaps back into reality. He blinks fast, realizing that he's already in front of the ice skating place.

_It wouldn't hurt to see, right?_

"Hey, I'll call you guys later," Renjun's voice suddenly seems faraway and there's a stretch of silence before his two friends simultaneously agree. Renjun says goodbye almost immediately, hanging up before he tucks the gadget in his pocket as his feet find themselves walking forward to cross the entrance in fast strides.

The place looks almost empty so Renjun figures that it's almost closing type. He takes a deep breath, heart beating wildly as he navigates through the place, each step feels more like a pull towards something completely unknown yet exciting.

A gust of cold air hits his face when he opens the door leading to the ice skating rink. A lone figure is quietly skating around, the sound of the skates hitting the ice sort of feels like home to him.

"Ah, really..." He freezes at the doorway, breath caught in his throat as the familiar voice echoes in the empty rink. He steps inside, quietly shutting the door behind him as a flash of pink hair makes its way to his line of vision. He watches as the boy skates around, almost bored now as he tries to navigate out of the rink.

"Jaemin?"

Everything stops by then.

Renjun's heart both slows down and speeds up at the same time when the boy confusedly turns around, his bored expression dropping as he gazes back at Renjun. The two of them stare at each other for what feels like a lifetime until Jaemin cracks a smile.

"I never knew that you would find me." Jaemin slowly skates over to him before he stops completely right before him. The only thing separating them is the solid barrier but Renjun has never felt so close to finding happiness before this moment happened.

"Hey," It's the only word that leaves his lips but Jaemin seems all too happy to hear his voice. He hurriedly gets off the rink, taking off his skates and slips into his shoes before walking over to the smaller boy. Renjun is quick to jump into his embrace and Jaemin lets out that soft, beautiful laugh that he has grown to love so much.

"Hey to you too. I missed you." Jaemin holds him closer and Renjun allows himself to bury his face on his shoulder, a smile lingering on his lips. Jaemin feels warm even if he was just on the ice a while ago so Renjun snuggles in even more to feel his warmth.

"I missed you too." After several heartbeats of silence between them, Renjun raises his head and smiles brightly at the pink-haired boy, eyes crinkling.

"I'm sorry," Jaemin's expression takes on a crestfallen one as he grips Renjun's body against his, "I really wanted to see you again, you have no idea but... I was scared. I felt so many things when I was with you and I was scared that we'll get separated from doing what we love the most if we try to see each other."

Jaemin cracks another smile and runs a hand through the smaller boy's hair, patting down the blond locks carefully.

"Obviously, my plan of avoiding you failed. I'm guessing that fate wanted us to be together so bad since I couldn't help but miss you way too much. You kind of proved yourself to be an effective distraction too. I don't mind it at all though."

Renjun stares back at him, a hand pressing down Jaemin's side in a soothing manner. There's something that's completely familiar about Jaemin's laugh, Jaemin's smile, and _Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin._ Renjun can't help but feel so at home with him.

"I couldn't stop thinking of you too. Every time I find an ice skating rink, I try to find you. I've always failed until now."

"Well, I'm so glad that fate led me back to you again." Jaemin grins at him, eyes twinkling and Renjun can't find it in himself to deny the fact that his heart's racing solely because of the pink-haired boy in front of him.

"Go out on a date with me? I really want to get to know you more." Renjun says it fast, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Jaemin blinks, looking taken aback but he recovers almost immediately, eyes crinkling as he smiles so widely. The taller boy cups Renjun's cheeks delicately in his hands, lips brushing against his forehead to drop a gentle kiss before his smile comes into Renjun's line of view again.

Renjun is so sure that he wouldn't mind seeing that smile for the rest of his life.

"Gladly."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/jenosaints)


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